Thursday, December 5, 2013

Tell me this idea isn't brilliant. No... really, tell me.

If you know me, you know that I'm really not offended by anything. I don't take life seriously enough to give two shits about anything... ever. Some chicks, however, canNOT take a joke. For example: sexism.

Sexism is hilarious to me. I really don't get what's so offensive about girls making sandwiches and doing the laundry... it's true, we rock at that shit, what's the big deal? Anyway, there's a point to all of this, I swear.

I have a BRILLIANT fucking idea. I just need an investor and this shit will have the ca$h flowing in no time. Are you ready for it? ... It's called Bitchin' Kitchen.

Every restaurant I've ever worked at had a kitchen full of guys with greasy hair or five o'clock shadows, or whatever they looked like it doesn't matter, they were guys. What's up with that? All these jokes about women belonging in the kitchen, and everywhere you go out to eat it's a dude making your steak fajitas. Wellllll... it's time to get a bitch in the kitchen. Bitch-in Kitchen... Bitchin' Kitchen! I'm fucking hysterical. Ha.

Here's the concept: Chicks cooking in the kitchen, Full on 50's housewife dresses, frilly aprons and all that other hipster shit that girls have been trying to bring back for some reason. The food would be predominantly hot sandwiches and things girls are known for making, like brownies and cookies and bottled beer. Maybe some meatloaf. The kitchen would only be separated from the dining area by a large plexi-glass wall so that everyone could see that it was women cooking. The waitstaff would be males wearing football jerseys. The atmosphere would be very "this is definitely a 25 year old's apartment," complete with mismatched furniture and unframed movie posters.

No soda fountain, there will be a drink menu consisting of crystal light packets and Mio, maybe some home made punch, because bitches love to make up punch recipes. No bar, like i said before, bottled beer and maybe some boxed wine. We'll keep it classy.

I think this sounds like a legitimately fun restaurant concept. Modern and realistic, except with really great food. Of course there's a pinch of sexism in there for shits and giggles, but without it there wouldn't be as much fun.

Eventually we could expand on the idea and perhaps open a lounge area that can be reserved for gatherings and customized to suit the customer. Bunch of guys getting together for a guys night? Out pop the surround sound and PS4 controllers, beer pong tables and tv trays. Ladies want to have a sweet little hang out? Fluffy pillows everywhere and Ryan Gosling movies on a loop with s'mores flavored everything in a buffet.

Who's on board? Who wants to quit their bitchin' and get in the kitchen? C'mon, this shit is money, there's no denying it.