Friday, May 11, 2012

Lauren Gets Deep-ish.

Well i fucking warned you guys that i've been working a lot, thus not blogging as much, thus... well, this shit happens. I sit around on my entire day off thinking about what to blog about, and then BAM! Jenna mo-fuggin' Marbles inspired me again.

Some would say i'm obsessed, but I disagree. I just think she says everything that I wish I could say out loud. Then,of course I write it all down on here, but that's where we differ. I'm sure if I was a cool ass blonde with a sweet boston accent then I would do some vlogs and shit more often, but I'm not.



Anyway, I'm going to do something tonight that i try to stay away from, and that is talk "politics". Now the reason that is in quotations is because the shit I'm talking about, in my opinion, should not be a political matter. (Well, some of it.) I also don't like talking about politics because I try to see the brighter side of things... and I don't feel like there is a bright side to it... plus it's easier to write about stuff that I know a lot about, and politics isn't one of those things.

So before you freak the fuck out about how stupid you think my opinions in this post are, keep this in mind... they are MY opinions, so suck it. And heeeeeerrrrreeee we go...

Why the fuck are the Republican candidates even mentioning the word religion? This shouldn't even be in their vocabulary... nothing about religion makes me think of a free country. Yeah, freedom of religion, but to me that means , "Yeah go ahead, you have the freedom to spend your whole life living by ancient beliefs that really aren't fair at all." To me, governments should only focus on how to make life as fair as possible for all citizens. I'm not saying we should adapt communism, I'm just saying that if we don't give everyone the tools to find their own happiness, how fair could life be?? I don't care if you're the richest person in the nation, you wouldn't have the same kind of happiness in your life that a poor yet happily married couple would have, especially if you weren't allowed to marry the one you loved.

I understand that not all religious people are against gay marriage, but a lot are, and they are trying to turn it into a religious argument when it isn't. Whatever, if you think you have the right to dictate how other people spend their personal time, then you are a huge fucking asshole. If it's not harmful to themselves, or others, then why the fuck do you care? Because you shouldn't.

Ok... I kind of went off on a tangent about one thing, and forgot what else I was going to say. Shit happens. Anywho, politics....

I honestly don't know who I'm going to vote for in November, and as far as I'm concerned, I'm better off moving to canada because so far all the nominees suck. The only one to surprise me so far has been Obama with his recent support for marriage equality. It's about fucking time... but I still don't know if that's enough for me.

Honestly? I'm terrified of this shit. I'm scared of where this world is going, and I really don't know how the current leaders of this country got where they are. It sucks that you have to be a rich asshole to get a foot in the door of the government. If that weren't the case, I bet we would have some good quality people who were actually looking out for us in office right now. Petty "issues" like gay marriage, birth control and weed would not be such a big deal... they would focus on, oh-- i don't know... making other countries not think we're idiots.

I SEE WHAT THEY'RE FUCKING SEEING! Selfish, greedy, douche bags who don't think about the good of their people enough. (or they think they do, but they are way waaaayyyy off base.)

Well... now that i am genuinely wound up, I'm going to finish listening to my Mac Miller playlist and get ready to go to bed. I hope you all sit down and think about your opinions before you blindly dedicate your vote this fall. And as far as I'm concerned, North Carolina is no longer a state... you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Last but not least, here is one of my favorite quotes;

"I'd rather have a mind opened by wonder, than a mind closed by belief."

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

What the Hell do You WANT from Me?

As (for some weird fucking reason) I continue to get large-ish amounts of traffic, I've been thinking of ways to boost the activity levels. It's obvious that a lot of people read the blogs, because they tell me so, but where are all my comments? No-- fuck comments, where are all my followers?

I know a ton of you are reading my posts from my facebook, because blogger tells me so. I know that it's easy to just click the links I post, but why not be a sport and follow my blog too? I figure it must be something that I'm not doing, or something that I'm doing wrong. Now let's sit and think about this shit...

My shit is funny... it's been voted funniest blog by a girl by some guy who likes to read funny blogs. (Seems legit) Maybe my shit is just TOO funny? Could that be an issue here? If that's the case, I'm sorry. I will try to throw in some depression, or some eating disorder bullshit to satisfy your cravings to cry like a little bitch.

Maybe I'm too offensive or vulgar sometimes... or all the time. If that's your issue here then why the hell are you on the internet? Get off your fucking computer and go rescue some kittens. If you think MY shit is bad then you've got your own little issues because... because Spacedicks. (nsfw)

I just can't pin point what the problem is here... what do you folks want more of? Want me to bring anonymous commenting back so that troll can try to insult me some more, because that was pretty funny for a while. Want more posts about Jenna Marbles being naked, even though she never has been or ever will be naked on the whole entire internet? Side note: I'm pretty sure she's probably googled 'jenna marbles naked' and 'jenna marbles porn' like the rest of you, found my site, and been like "Fuck this bitch... oh wait, she's backing me up... fuuuuuck yes." (or maybe that's just what I hope she's thinking.)


Do the guys want more shit related to them? Need more posts about bitches and hoes from Josh? Some hockey playoff coverage or some shit? Well tough luck... that's what Barstool is for.

The truth of the matter is, you're going to keep getting the same old bull shit from me unless you guys start commenting and following and telling me what you want to see. It's not hard, I won't bite, and you'd be doing ME a favor, so that I don't have to sit around for hours thinking about something stupid to write about.


p.s. I'm going to start having a "Question of the Day" or "QOTD" that I want you all to answer in the comments. (yes, it will be depressing to see zero comments on this post, and you can all rub it in my face when that happens)

QOTD: When did the narwhal bacon?

p.p.s. I just figured it out... I can't see any comments or followers because you're all NINJA COMMENTATOR/FOLLOWERS!!.