Last night there were many brilliant ideas born as my new "partner in crime" and I recorded our first podcast. "Wait... podcast?" You ask? Yes. But that's for a whole other day.
During our conversation we talked about the trials and tribulations of online dating, and how creepy and weird people can be, as well as the lies that are told by men and women alike. Mr. Cruiser Man (MCM for the purposes of this post) was telling me how he created a fake profile for a girl that he went out with at one point, just to see what the other side of the online dating world was like. Oh. My. God. This man is a genius.
In a little over 2 days he got close to 400 messages from guys trying to get into this fake girl's pants. Shortly after creating the profile, however, the website deleted it because he was sending straight girls messages trying to "convert them" (his words) but during that time he had an amazing idea... He thought, Hey... what if I can get as many dudes as possible to meet this "girl" at Starbucks all at the same time? Just picture it. Somewhere from 20-90 guys all showing up at some poor unsuspecting coffee shop, all waiting for a girl who's never going to come, and being filmed by MCM for future embarrassment. Brilliant right?
He told me this plan and a light bulb immediately flickered above my head. What if I can actually pull that off? I'm a real girl, with the real urge to punk the shit out of some real dudes. Awesome. If I do this though, I'm going to need some help.
First, I need to find some friends to be my hidden cameramen. Preferably people with smartphones who are proficient at looking like they're texting, while they're actually filming. I figure 4 people scattered around starbucks with iphones won't look suspicious in the slightest. Then, I'm going to need to develop a profile of sorts for either me or a really attractive friend of mine, and let the messages roll in. The tricky part will be keeping up with responses, and who is going to show up... getting them to agree to meet probably won't be an issue because we all know what guys want.
One thing will lead to another, and I will be walking up to a starbucks with 30 or so eager single guys all waiting to meet the same girl... only it won't be me. I will then recruit a daring male friend to dress in terrible drag, which will include a very recognizable article of clothing from one of the pictures on the dating profile. He will walk in the door, walk up to the counter and order a coffee. When they ask for his name to write on the cup, he will loudly proclaim, "Lauren!"
Cue awkward looks from a large number of men. Cameras rolling will catch the reactions, if there are any at this point. If nothing happens yet, I will instruct my wonderful volunteer to sit down beside one of my friends with an iphone and mention loudly, "I'm so nervous, Im supposed to be meeting a date here!"
Then shit will get real... I hope by this point everyone will be looking at the man in women's clothing who just claimed to be all their dates. NOW here's the bigger twist... I walk in. I walk over to the fake Lauren (if I'm not stopped by familiar glances) and he will stand up and say "OMG! *fake name*! So nice to meet you!"
What I want to know is how is this not hilarious? How is this not going to be an epic adventure of epicness? Why hasn't this been done yet (to my knowledge)??
Sometimes I wonder why I'm not a famous tv/film/radio producer yet... sometimes.