She's too... for you bro!

Alright folks I reached out to the masses this morning to try and get some of YOU to help with the making of a post. I figured, get people involved and interested to see the final result... fun times, fun times.

The theme? If you've watched Jersey Shore at all this season, you've seen those crazy gorilla juice heads go on and on about knowing when a girl is too young for you. Well, I decided to expand that notion a little bit by asking a more broad version of that question...

"If a girl ______, then she's too ______ for you bro!"

That could be anything, too fat for you bro, too young, too old, too orange, too bitchy... you name it, it works. I posted that question on twitter and facebook to see what I could gather, and as well as on a Make-Up forum that I frequent (those bitches are hilarious) (I mean that in the best way)

Anyway, here is all that I came up with, of course with the help of all you sparkley gumdrop pandas...

If she still argues with people on Facebook or does gang signs and the middle finger in all her pics, she's too young for you bro.

If she's seen Home Alone 3, but not Home Alone 1 and 2, she's too young for you bro.

If she think getting wet means running through the sprinklers, she's too young for you bro.

If her walker gets in the way when you're doing it in the shower, she's too old for you bro!

If her toothpaste is bubblegum flavored, she's too young for you bro.

If she's wearing a silly band, she's too young for you bro.

If the only cycle she's on has 3 wheels, she's too young for you bro!

If her sneakers still light up, she's too young for you bro.

iF sHe TeXtS LyKe tHiS, she's too young for you bro!

If her favorite drink comes in a pouch with a little yellow straw, she's too young for you bro.

If she takes her walk of shame on a big wheel, she's too young for you bro.

If she thinks NES is the loch ness monster, she's too young for you bro.

If her age is on the clock, she's too young for you bro.

If she never had a MySpace, she's too young for you bro!

If it's your job to drive her to school in your big yellow vehicle, she's too young for you bro.

Well, though all submissions were pretty good, I want more variety... like more "too olds" maybe some "too fats" you know the deal. In either case, there's a bowl of fruity pebbles with my name on it... ciao bella.